Poems

The Monster in Me

Poem by Lisa J. Leavell

I feel so alone.

More alone than ever before.

Died tears wash away as fresh ones tumble down.

I’m ashamed of my true feelings,

so I hide them.

But sometimes when I let my guard down,

they sneak out.

a feeling I hate

even more

than

nelness.

I’m stuck in that hideous

infinite

stage of neutral.

I am but I am not

an adult and a child

independent and dependent

miserable and bitter.

Loosing friends and family

watching helplessly as they fall like dominos.

My throat tightens and I can’t breathe

But no one cares or understands.

Just a few short hours ago I felt so vital and happy.

And now I find myself closest to death.

I am paralyzed,

locked in the tomb

of desolation I created.

The storm from above begins to wreak havoc and

I have no shelter

but my own depression.

I breathe in, put on my usual façade.

And smile again.

Lisa J. Leavell, contact: poetnouveau@hotmail.com

Reviews and comments requested

Posted 05/08/2001