AN OPINION ON WHY AMERICANS ADOPT OVERSEAS
 
Opinion By Steven W. Freiman

It has been brought to my attention that there are certain beliefs on why Americans choose to adopt children from other countries. I would like to address some of the myths I have heard and offer an opinion based on my own research, experiences, and feelings towards the adoption process. This is a large complex issue that is emotionally charged for all parties involved and this is not meant to be all inclusive of the adoption process.
 
Myth One: Americans do not love their own children. The fact of the matter is that we do but are thwarted in the adoption process by the current Social Services system. Many local government Child Protective Agencies across the nation receive Federal and State money based on the number of children in their care. While you hear on TV how they would love all the children to be adopted, the truth is that there is no motivation for them to facilitate the adoption process as they could or should. American Child Services has moved from an orphanage system to a foster care/family system. People get paid to be foster parents. While the majority of these people are a great benefit to the children and true unsung hero’s, there is a small minority that are in it for pure profit. Children also are moved from home to home many times for no logical reason. This creates severe emotional problems that in some cases cannot be overcome.
 

 
Myth Two: Americans want to adopt only babies. While most domestic adoptions involve babies, a large number of foreign adoptions involve children over the age of two. The percentage of older children adopted overseas is greater than the percentage of older children adopted domestically. While I do not know the exact figures, my dealings with two local adoption agencies bear this out. It is my belief that an older foreign child has a greater chance of finding a home than an older child available for adoption here in America. A sad statistic I do know is that once a child in America reaches the age of 5, the chance for adoption falls almost to nil.
 
Myth Three: Foreign adoption is easier and less expensive than domestic. As a parent that has closely looked at both sides and adopted internationally, foreign adoption is far more difficult and costly. Most legal domestic adoptions run between 12 – 15 thousand dollars. Our foreign adoption has cost between 25 – 30 thousand dollars. In domestic adoption you answer to the local and state governments. In foreign adoptions you answer not only to the local and state governments, but also to your Federal government and the foreign government of the child being adopted. Time is relative, some domestic adoptions can take only 3 months at a minimum and up to a year to complete. But all foreign adoptions will take at least 9 months and normally around a year to complete. Both may require travel, but obviously foreign adoption will always require travel. While foreign adoption does not have an age limit in most cases such as domestic for the adoptive parents, there are many other factors that could prevent the adoption from taking place. In our example of the first failed adoption, the foreign government refused to cooperate in the process and effectively killed the adoption process through their inaction.
 

 
Myth Four: Americans bring the children back and then sell their body parts. This myth is more prevalent in southern Russia and certain other Baltic areas. This incredible myth was brought to our attention while overseas. Basically, this is another urban legend that amazes me is that anyone would believe such a thing.
 
Now I would offer some of the reasons why we chose foreign adoption over domestic.
 
Reason One: The government’s family reunification plan that states a biological family is preferable to an adoptive family. Basically what happens here is that the birth parents at a later time can petition for the return of the children should they be able to prove that they have rebuilt their family to the satisfaction of the prevailing court in various States.  The legal adoption could possibly be overturned in a court of law even though the adoption is final. This has happened on numerous occasions. Age of the adoptive parents also plays into this as whether the adoptive parents are viable or not as parents in the eyes of the courts and social services.
 
Reason Two: The strong push for open adoptions only. In this type of adoption we share custody with birth parents and other relatives to a certain degree. While this is fine for many adoptive parents, for many others it is not. We have no problem with culture and heritage and even our child seeking out family members. But I stress that the seeking of biological family members should be done when the child is either an adult or in late teens and has expressed the desire to do so. A healthy, safe, stable childhood needs to be provided and every child should have one if at all possible. Again this is preference and belief system concerning the nuclear family. Some people in starting a family do not want to have a ready made blended family. In our situation, we have had discussions with our daughter concerning her origins and shared cultures.
 

 
Reason Three: Availability of children (without the open adoption option) is actually limited. Again this goes back to the social services structure. Another option is the private adoption option that is very risky. The adoptive parents get selected by a mother giving up the child and in most cases the adoptive parents pay all the childbearing costs, which by the way are in most cases not covered by the adoptive parents medical insurance. We have had friends that have gone through at least three failed adoptions where they paid birthing costs and then the birth mother decided not to give up the child. No legal recourse there. And the black market of baby buying is out the question no matter how much a baby is desired. For some though it is the only option.
 
Reason Four: As true believers in Christ, we went before God and stated we would raise the child God wanted us to raise. In the beginning we were interested in a baby and then God changed our hearts towards older children when an older child visited our home from Russia. And then the direction was changed later when He directed us to Romania. A lot of prayer went into this decision along with a lot of faith. Not every adoptive parent is called to adopt from a foreign nation.
 
This is just a quick and high level brief on this subject. Americans do love their children and if domestic adoption issues that cause prospective parents to look overseas were worked out, I feel that foreign adoption would be almost nonexistent. Dramatic changes in the social services areas of this country and the foreign countries opening up have caused an explosion in foreign adoptions. Domestic adoptions have suffered greatly as a result of thousands of prospective parents being discouraged from domestically adopting due to many different reasons. And I am sure I do not have the whole picture. People adopt for different reasons and chose domestic and foreign options accordingly. The important thing is that adoptive parents love their children and will always be that child’s Mommy and Daddy. God puts families together, not man.

Steven W. Freiman, Age 47, Contact: swf75024@yahoo.com

Copyright 2008 Steven W. Freiman

Review and comments requested.
Posted 11/20/2008