Its just sex right

Non-Fiction by Zoheb Rahim Khan

 

I’ve often considered writing something about celibacy, not just to reaffirm my stand on it, but also, if possible, to attempt a, revamp if you will, of an issue which has long since been forgotten.

How and when celibacy was put on the backburners, I don’t think any of us will ever really know. It’s a known fact that not more than a few decades ago, the alternative to celibacy, till marriage at least, was, well, ostracism. Very few people, if any, dared to broach the subject of sex. In fact the word itself was pretty much taboo. And any thing related to it was relegated to heated bedroom discussions, discussions which, like everything that happens in Vegas, remained in the bedroom. Those were simper, unsophisticated times, when sex was, well, making love-a show of faith, trust and devotion. But above all, it was an endorsement of a relationship that was sacred, in the eyes of the world, both spiritual and legal, back then at least. It was something, special, something unique, something that two people, united in marriage, shared, something which no one else could ever lay claim on.

 

Fortunately, we in today’s society have grown past those medieval, ante-diluvian and, for lack of a better word, eccentric ideas of devotion, faith and trust-they are merely words, words which at one stage of time might have meant something. But no, we’ve grown. We’ve evolved past these meaningless little words. We’re a lot more knowledgeable and educated about the ways of the world. No more is sex a topic to be discussed in private. Oh no, we’re too sophisticated for that. Sex, and everything related to it is no longer taboo. It is in fact part of our culture. We’ve grown to such an extent that discussions about sex are about as commonplace as those about Saddam. And boy are we proud of this achievement. We’re no longer shushed at the dinner table when we bring up the ‘S’ word. Hell, we cant go a single day without hearing about it, or even watching it on TV. Yes, we’ve grown. We’ve grown a lot.

 

It is of course this major development of the human race, a maturity we are undoubtedly proud of, that has resulted in the steady decline of that ridiculous belief our ancestors once held about the exclusivity of sex. They had this vague, somewhat foolhardy notion that sex was like a gift, an award if you will, given to the knight lucky enough to win the hand of the fair princess. But no, that was just another silly little bridle our ancestors wore. We of course have grown. With our superior understanding of this existence, we now know that sex is not really that sacred at all. In fact, the earlier we experience it the better. It gives us that much more time to revel in it. And revel we will, because it is meant to be enjoyed, it’s a game, a sport we have all become experts at. Just the idea of waiting for that special some one is alien to us. I mean after all, ‘Its just sex right’.

 

However, come to think of it, if our ancestors believed in the value and significance of sex, so do we. Sex is now an invaluable part of our lives. Its significance is unsurpassed. They once held that sex was special. And we couldn’t agree with them more. Sex is special, and it becomes even more special every time it’s experienced with some one new. One night stands, office colleagues, high school friends, all special. Sex to them was meant to be exclusive, but not to us. Oh no, we have grown. We have now learnt that saving oneself for marriage was arguably one of the biggest mistakes our ancestors could have ever made. They missed out on all the excitement of virgin territory in high school. Missed out on all the maturity of college relationships. Missed out on so much. And all for what, some silly little thing called marriage.

 

But then what of that silly little thing called love. Wasn’t that one of the pre requisites for sex.

Just as we did with sex, we have grown to revolutionize the whole idea of love as well. We can now fall in and out of it as easy as a blonde can give me whiplash. So yet again, we manage to not stray very far from our ancestors’ belief. If for them sex required faith, trust, love and devotion, we have all of that. If we have grown to such an extent that we can now have faith in, trust and devote ourselves whole heartedly to every person we ever have a relationship with, why can’t we have sex with all of them. And the love, well, no one ever said that true love happened only once. If love to me is about as special and significant as the toothpicks I use, why should sex be any different?

 

If every relationship of mine is based on utmost faith, complete devotion and true, match made in heaven type of love then there really is no difference between the relationship I once had with an ex girlfriend and the one I might have with my wife. And why should there be anything different. Why should my wife have something of me that no other girl ever had. Why should she see me like no other girl ever will. What makes her so different from any other girl I might have known.

After all, if I’ve poured my heart out to all my previous girlfriends, if I’ve shared my bed with all of them, what really makes my wife any different from them. Nothing, and that’s simply because we have grown. I have grown. Grown past antiquated, asinine beliefs in the sanctity and significance of marriage. I now know that marriage, like sex, is nothing special. Therefore, if my marriage to my fiancé means nothing more than a couple of signatures, a 3-tier wedding cake and a Tiffany on her finger, why in God’s name should I save myself for her. Who is she? She’s just my wife, so what.

 

We humans are a proud people. We are proud of the advancements we have made over previous generations. We have grown, evolved enough to know that the earth is not flat. In fact we also know that it isn’t even the center of the universe. We have grown to such an extent that it no longer takes weeks to travel from Asia to Africa. We have grown a lot, technologically, mentally, physically.

Unfortunately, contrary to popular belief, we haven’t grown as a people.

We are in fact a perfect illustration of Darwin’s joke of a theory of evolution. He said we are all animals.

 

The way we are now, I find it hard to disagree with him.

 

Comments and reviews requested

Contact : zrk01@yahoo.com

 

Posted 08/04/2004