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Crushed
Non-Fiction By Laura Buti
By definition, the word crush means to press between two opposing
forces so as to break or injure. Yet in the eyes of the average high
school girl, this violent term takes the shape of a blonde-haired,
blue-eyed boy whose sighting can't help but bring a smile to her face.
But whether crushes came from a clever Seventeen magazine gossip
column, or directly from the that crumbling feeling inside whenever
said crush walks by never acknowledging a girl's existence, is
unimportant when considering the impact this simple word has on the
life of a female teen.
A girl's crush consumes her being. "You must be tired- you've been
running through my mind all day", may be the ultimate cheesy pick-up
line, but it covers exactly what goes on in a girl's head from the
moment she wakes up till the time she falls asleep. Sleepwalking to
the shower in the morning, she begins to think about her outfit,
matching shirts with skirts, then oh wait that belt doesn't go with
those shoes, all the while analyzing the possible number of times she
may meet her crush in the hall (taking into account her carefully
planned routes to class that pass by the male's corresponding classes
in hopes of catching a glimpse), therefore she must select an outfit
to the correct degree of cuteness to make the best impression, should
anyone in particular take notice. As she lathers up, she will no doubt
use the foaming shower gel, cucumber-melon or sun-ripened raspberry,
along with sweet-smelling shampoos and skin-softening shave creams,
and smooth it all out with a scented lotion after
drying off. She'll
put on her face, arrange her hair, stand in the mirror fretting over
her love handles, skip breakfast and even then hold in her stomach,
when from the beginning, she could honestly care less, but rather she
is concerned what others (especially someone in particular) may think
about her...presentation. And in the end it is all for naught, for no
matter what she wears, how she smells, or what type of magnifying
mascara blackens her fluttering lashes, that day and the day after and
the week after and all through the school year, he will walk by
without ever knowing how she adores him.
That is, unless she gets lucky. In the past, a crush to me had always
meant the guy who made my day simply by bringing his gorgeous self to
class, then crushes it again when he takes his seat next to the
typical dumb blonde while the brainiac brunette sits praying to God
Almighty that this young man may someday know her name. Yes, that was
me. But lately, this vicious word has taken on a different meaning,
one seriously more intense that its original. For once, that boy the
girl has longed for the past (let's not exaggerate, it may have only
been a week) uh, month, finally gives her the time of day, and now
thoughts of him will never stop crossing her mind. It becomes
impossible to concentrate on anything at all besides What am I going
to say next time I see him? What will he say back? Should I let him
say something first? I wonder if he's wearing his black Carhartts...
And every meeting between boy and girl will be so perfected in her
mind that when it doesn't go as planned (since she will be blown away
by his attractiveness in his sexy Carhartt pants) the entire next
period is spent thinking of flirty comments she could have made.
But back in class she's asked to write a definition essay and of
course only one thing (or should we say person) is "running through
her mind", and while the definition of a hick may not suffice, writing
about "love" sounds like it could be philosophical. So one who has
never been in love and still is nowhere near it sits with pen in hand
scribbling her thoughts on love, and the one thing she finds written
all over her notebook is the cheesy pick-up line from "BioDome"- a
line stuck in her head since last Saturday when she watched the
childish movie, curled up in the arms of the one that's consuming her
life.
Laura Buti, age 16, contact: zoezoe14@aol.com
copyright 2003 Laura Buti
review and comments requested
Posted 06/17/2003
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