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Beautiful Haunting? Non-Fiction by Jeremy Jose Of all the terrible visions that may appear to one in the dead of night, which is the one that may drive one to the brink of insanity but in that same instant instill an infinite yet untapped spring of hope in the viewer? How gruesome must an image be to become a casual acquaintance? Or rather, does such an image exist? No. There is no such gruesome avatar that has the ability to cause such mental, emotional, and physical pain at once without driving the viewer to take his own life. Abominable figures and eerie scenes can only go so far. One is only truly haunted by what he is destined to have, or for that matter, what he “believes” he is destined to have. The same painful emotions that are experienced when one knows he is about to die may also find him when he is waiting to live. When one knows the cold hand of death is near every nearby object holds a certain stigma. The comforter under which he lies is no longer merely a trapper of heat; it is protection that had once sheltered him from pneumonia in the many cold winters past. The thrift store watch he kept hidden away in his bedside drawer is no longer merely a steady keeper of time; it is now the only remaining link he holds with his father with whom he never made amends. The same stigma is present when one dreams of his destiny. The old man’s guitar lying untouched and out of tune in the corner becomes the apple of a child’s eye when he strikes his first chord. The old boring book from the tenth grade required reading list transforms into a masterpiece once finds a future in literature. And, the song playing on radio earlier in the day, that a young man once thought was devoid of meaning and down-tempo, becomes his most frequented tune when the woman he “loves” praises it. Theses “stigmatized” moments tend to occur before the two major events in life: love and death. Why would a man in love perceive the world the same way as a man who has been limited to his deathbed? Could it be because they both have no idea what is to come about next? Think about it, when one is faced with death his breath grows fast and shallow as if part of him is trying to make the most of his final seconds by increasing his number of breaths taken per minute but the other part urges him to savor the last glorious seconds of life by trying to delay his most vital function. Why is it that one realizes he is in love does exactly the same? Does the emotion we call love just plainly befuddle the brain? Why would our highly evolved reason based mind betray those in love? The man in love seems to be haunted by his muse the same way a dead man is haunted by his past. The nerves that make up his complex system of emotions connect every passing sensation with his lover. They will simply not leave him be. This is what drives a lover insane. His limitations cease to exist. Like the death-bound man who has nothing left to fear, he can feel no restraint because every fiber in his being brings his love to mind. The haunting of ghouls and goblins pales in comparison with the constant tug of love, which more effectively frightens one out of his former self and into the person who the world views as insane.
Jeremy Jose, age 17, contact Armagedon770@gmail.com Reviews and comments definitely welcome! Posted 02/03/2008
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