Fiction by Alaine D.

PROLOGUE

 She ran. She ran as though she couldn’t stop, her footsteps pounding through the echoing night. A blinking streetlight slashed across her blood-shot eyes, flickering for a moment before dying away. Her long slender legs streaked through the darkness, with blazing red hair billowing in the roar of the wind. Stopping would be fatal – stopping would shatter the fragile pieces of the world. Her world.

Lightning flashed against the groans of thunder slicing through the heavens. It began to rain, pearly drops of unshed tears fell from the sky splattering onto the cold hard earth. The wind howled and thrashed at her sending her hurtling into a nearby tree.

She had stopped…she had let the memories catch up with her. Her mind reeled with the images and words she had tried so hard to block out. They spilled into her, poisoning the fragile innocence, ripping down the last shreds of trust and belief, plunging her sunlight into an everlasting darkness.

It wasn’t just the fact that she was there – that other woman, or the words that had come tumbling through his mouth, although they hurt her painfully, it was the way he had looked at that woman, the way he’d clutched at her hand.

“I don’t love her,” he had said, gently cupping the woman’s milk white face into his hand, plunging his warm brown eyes into her deep ocean blue in a way that he had never looked at her. His gaze was so loving, so passionate, and so…tender. “I don’t love her,” He repeated, “ not the way I love you. She means nothing to me anymore. You are my sunshine, my love, my life. I want you to share my life…you, not her. If only I could turn back time and give to you my years with her, how much better things would have been!” He shook his head slightly and took something out of his pocket. It was a small velvet box. Dropping down to one knee, he opened the box and held it out to her, displaying a glinting diamond ring, sparkling in the bright light of his chandelier. “Kathryn Elizabeth Clarke, will you marry me?”

Just then, a sob escaped from her throat and both pairs of eyes turned towards her. She stared at him with a stricken look on her face as though he had just reached into her chest and ripped out her heart – still beating. For a moment they just stood there gazing intently at each other as a silent, heartbreaking goodbye passed through them. When he made a step towards her, she jerked away and bolted out into the street.

The moment she stopped, she clung to the tree as the only support and let out a gut-wrenching cry of a dying woman. Wind howled and lightning flashed as she shed her last drops of tears into the night.

 ~***~

She woke up in a small dimly lit room. Confused and disorientated, she racked her brain trying to remember how she had gotten there. Something was nagging at the back of her head, something that caused her stomach to tighten and her throat close up, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t quite clear the fog intertwined within her thoughts.

Groggily, she looked around. It was a small round room without windows or doors. Two long sticks of candles sat on a round table in the centre of the room, illuminating it with a pale eerie glow. The hollow light was just bright enough for her to see a lone book resting bleakly on the wooden table.

Standing up to walk to the table, she was suddenly overcome by a rush of dizziness. She placed a hand on the wall to steady herself and clear her head. What was that? She thought uneasily, and where the hell am I? Thousands of questions polluted her thoughts. She couldn’t get out of the room – there wasn’t a door in sight but nonetheless, she was too weak to panic. If she got in, surely there was a way out. Gingerly, she walked to the table and lowered herself into one of the wooden chairs.

The book was the size of her palm; its cover was trimmed with lavish gold lining and fixed with a black ornament in the shape of a rose. Straight above, furnished with many fancy twirls and loopy letters read:

Thorns of Ice

Power of price

Soulless vice

Darkness entice

 

It seemed to be just an ordinary book, but she found herself strangely drawn to it, as though it was crying out to her, or crying out for her. A powerful sense of foreboding sent sparks of excitement through her body and despite her better judgements; she found her hand reaching for it.

Before she could close her fingers around the object, someone behind her spoke her name.

“Kaya”

Startled, she swung around abruptly and stared.

A woman stood in front of her – the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. Silky black hair framed her delicate features, flowing gently around her and cascading down her back like a shimmery black waterfall. Blood red lips were curved in a sensual smile on her smooth ivory skin. Thick long lashes curled around her bright emerald eyes twinkled brightly under the dull light. She had a slender figure hugged in a rather flattering black dress that showed off her creamy white arms, which almost radiated an unearthly glow, and accenting her slim shapely calves. Shock drowned the waves of envy that had shuddered through her.

The woman was floating a few centimetres off the ground.

“Kaya” She said again bringing Kaya to her senses. There was a glint in her eyes as though amused by her reaction.

“Who are you? What am I doing here?” She demanded, unconsciously rude. All she wanted was to lift this confusion that kept clouding her thoughts.

The woman laughed loudly; the situation must highly amuse her. Even her laugh is beautiful, Kaya thought, feeling annoyed. The woman gently lowered herself to the floor and sat down on the chair on the opposite side of the table.

“Do you remember what happened to you?” She asked, her eyes kind and gentle as though approaching a wounded animal. Kaya shook her head and looked at her expectantly hoping for some answers.

“I can’t tell you, but I can help you remember. Trust me to help you remember…”

She felt a gentle probing at the barrier of her mind. Apprehensively, she thought back to all those teachings against witchcraft. Everyone knew witchcraft was associated with the devil and is therefore evil. Everything about the woman screamed out witchcraft, the way she looked, the floating and then the mind reading, but the nagging thought of the forgotten memory was steadily getting worse. If she wanted, she could have tried something ages ago, she didn’t need Kaya’s permission. Besides…Kaya reasoned, I’m keeping the witch out now. Surely I could push her out if she tried something funny. Even to her own ears, the argument sounded more like an excuse, weak and insubstantial. But she didn’t care. Taking a deep breath, she pushed back the barrier, opening the entrance to her mind.

It felt funny at first – intruding and a strong vulnerability that scared her. She wanted to pull back, stop it before she exposed too much of herself, but suddenly she was swamped by images, jumbled and fragmented. They came hurtling at her, one after the other, not making sense. Unexplained emotions welled up inside her; an overwhelming feeling of grief that almost swallowed her whole, and the radiating waves of anger. There was sadness, betrayal and…loss. Suddenly, the images connected and everything made sense again – but at the same time, everything fell apart.

She was crying, red-hot tears burned her cheeks. She remembered standing there, watching him say the words with such passion, sincerity and…regret. Her heart had shattered. It shattered with no one to pick up the pieces that cut so deeply into her soul, into her mind and her pride. It ripped open the deep searing love she had felt for him, leaving a gaping wound with only pain to console her.

He had left her. If only I could turn back time and give to you my years with her. He had stopped loving her when she still clung to him unknowingly, and so naïve. I don’t love her. He had grown sick of her, tossing her aside for another woman. If only I could turn back time and give to you my years with her. Without regret. Give to you my years with her. She meant nothing to him. He didn’t love her. She means nothing to me. If only I could turn back time and give to you my years with her. I don’t love her. She means nothing to me. Give to you my years with her. It was all a lie. I don’t love her. Give to you my years with her. She means nothing to me. Give to you my years with her. If only. I don’t love her. I don’t love her. I don’t love her. She means nothing to me. I don’t love her. She means nothing to me. She means nothing to me. She means nothing to me. Nothing. She means nothing to me. Nothing….

“It was all a lie!” She screamed, wrenching away from the woman’s mind grasp. All of a sudden the anger evaporated and left her an empty shell of emotions. Suddenly she became aware of a hand caressing her hair. She jerked away and pushed her chair to the wall.

“Who are you? Why are you doing this to me?” She whispered, her eyes, a stormy grey stricken with grief and weak with emotion, was pleading into the bottle green of the witch, seeking release. The woman smiled sadly and shook her head looking at Kaya as though she was a deranged toddler.

“I didn’t do this to you, Kaya.  I didn’t do anything to you. John did all this. John was the one who caused all this to happen. He left you; he didn’t love you any more and went to her while still leading you to believe that the two of you were getting married. You meant nothing to him. He was taking advantage of you. He took advantage of you, and he took advantage…of you body….”

Kaya jerked and paled, as though stung by her words. “H…how…how did you know that we…that we had already….”

“I could tell…perhaps I’m just a little more observant than most. But then again, everyone will know one day, you can’t hide it forever…however much you want to.”

“What did I do wrong? Was it me? Did I do or say something wrong that drove him into the arms of the other woman? Maybe we shouldn’t have….”

“That’s right. Keep blaming yourself. Beat yourself on the head with it. Maybe then you’ll realise that it was entirely his fault. He’s been with her for a whole year now - did you know that? That was a long time before you two started to - how should I say it?  -  make love? How sweet could the love have been if he was with another woman at the time? How….”

“STOP! Please stop it! I don’t want to hear any more of your lies!” She had her hands to her ears, tossing her scarlet hair from side to side, tears streaming down her face, eyes screwed up tightly.

“ They’re not lies. Did he ask you to marry him on the same day that you slept with him? Didn’t he give you that exact same ring as the one that will be on the other woman’s finger? Didn’t he say the exact same words to you?”

“No…no, no. no…please…stop….”

“ You are my sunshine, my love, my life. I want you to share my life, you…not anyone else. Isn’t that what he had said to you?”

She stopped crying now, just sat there trembling, eyes fixed blankly on a spot on the wall. The only sign of emotion was the balled up fists, held tightly by her side. The woman stared at her intensely.

“You think of me as a witch, a witch with an ability to conjure up lies and make you believe it, but this isn’t witchcraft. This is the truth. You’re scared because you know it’s true, because you don’t want to hate him, even though you should.”

Kaya didn’t move or speak, just sat there in a trance. The witch was getting impatient.

“Ok, fine, you want proof? Remember that day? The day he proposed? He wouldn’t give you the ring would he? He said he needed to resize it, yet he didn’t even try it on your finger. But you were so ecstatic you didn’t even question that. Then, think back to the next day, when he was lying by your side, unconsciously caressing your skin. What was he muttering in his sleep?”

Something flickered across her face but was gone in a second when she continued to stare dejectedly at the wall.

“What was the name that came out of his mouth, Kaya? What did you hear?”

She looked like she was about to cry again, but fighting to gain control.

“ It was Kate wasn’t it? Kate! That woman’s name. But he denied it so fervently that you believed him. Because you loved him, but once again, he used your innocence, and your love against you!”

Angry red spots appeared on her cheeks.

“ He used your body, and dumped you aside. You know what they’ll say about you now don’t you? They’ll find out sooner or later, and you’ll be labelled a whore. A whore, Kaya! Your family will be ashamed of you, and even your friends won’t want to associate with someone who’s been tainted. No man would want a prostitute as a wife! Because of him…you’ve lost everything! ….”

“STOP!” She screamed, losing her composure. The woman looked at her expectantly. For a moment she just stood there, staring through the walls, her jaws clenched tightly, her nails digging into the palm of her hands. Then she looked at the witch, her eyes burning with rage. “ I hate him.” She said softly, as though to test out the feel of the words. She looked frightened, like a lost child. After a moment, she hardened her features, feeling the burning hatred that was boiling to the brim about to send her toppling over the edge.

“I hate him!” She said with more conviction, each word, a jagged sword striking out, killing the girl filled with so much love and compassion, filling her instead with bitterness, resentment and hatred.

She turned away, so intent on her anger that she didn’t hear the woman laugh softly, triumphantly.

“That’s more like it.”

~***~

 “ You were a Goddess?” Kaya looked at her in shock. Her eyes grew wide and her mouth opened into an “o” shape. The woman had been telling her about herself but Kaya had only gotten past her first sentence. It was absurd.  Pretending to be a goddess…it was ludicrous!

“ Goddess Ilsa for a whole 500 years now.” ‘Goddess Ilsa’ replied, almost proudly.

“You’re a Goddess!” She cried out again, this time letting out a howl of laughter that brought tears to her face. It was strange, to be able to laugh so hard after all the grief she had gone through, but it felt good, and strangely…right. She doubled up, holding her stomach and slapping her thighs in a very unlady-like fashion. But then…running out into the streets like a common street urchin wasn’t very proper either. It wasn’t as though she cared about that…but thinking of proper behaviours reminded her of her mother. She didn’t want to think about her family…not yet, but her mother’s critical eyes and her father’s intelligent profile flashed before her eyes bringing forth a fresh wave of tears turning her laughter into sobs.

“Kaya? What is it now?” Ilsa grit her teeth and sighed. She turned towards her, trying to look concerned at her emotional outburst.

“Home – go – home-“ She said in-between her sobs.

“ You can’t go home! There’s something I need you to do – besides you have nowhere to go. Your family will disown you now, and you haven’t got any friends who will take you in – at least no friends that aren’t connected with your family. You certainly can’t go to John and unless you want to wander around the street like a lost orphan, I suggest you stay with me.” It was harsh, the way she had said it, but Kaya had finally stopped crying. Tiny hiccups escaped her lips. She looked so vulnerable, so childlike.

“ I can’t go home? I have to go home! I have to make them understand – they will understand. They’re my family. They will understand. Families are supposed to do that…I read about them, they’re supposed to…to hug you a…and tell that you that everything’s going to be ok. My mother may be really critical and sharp at times b…but that’s because she loves me, and…and wants me to be the best I can be. My father doesn’t talk to me because he’s so busy supporting the family and…and he loves me too. They’ll understand…they have to understand. They’re my family…they love me.” She was muttering frantically, as though talking to herself, trying to convince herself. Ilsa looked her, expressions of sympathy and disbelief marked her face.

“ Are you going to do that your whole life? Run away from the truth? Open up your pretty eyes and see the truth glaring right at you. Your mother is selfish and only thinks of herself and her reputation. You’re never good enough for her. Your father never sees you because he doesn’t want to. You’re a disappointment to them because you were a girl when they expected a boy, an heir. They don’t love you…they don’t even like you.”

Kaya stood stock still, staring at Ilsa with a horrified expression on her face. What Ilsa had said was like a blow in the face.

“How can you be so cold? Is that what they teach you up there in…in…goddess paradise where you got kicked out? Didn’t you say that you were a god? What did you do? Huh? You weren’t good enough were you? Don’t deny me my family. I need to see my family, something you won’t understand. Maybe you’ve never had a family so you don’t understand that you don’t choose your family; you just have to love them any way.  Though I’d be surprised if you’ve ever even loved anyone or been loved. You’re beautiful, but also cold and lifeless. You don’t scare me, because I don’t see anything in you worth the fear. So if you don’t let me see my family, I will NEVER do whatever it is you obviously want me to do – you’ll have to kill me first.” Her tone was clipped with a chilly edge that had never been there before. The two women glared at each other, each matching in their seething gaze, burning into each other. Fire and Ice.

It was Ilsa who turned away first, her steely gaze fixed on the book resting peacefully on the table unperturbed by the icicles that hung in the air. 

“ Ok, I will make you a deal.” She said at last, turning towards the fiery young woman shooting daggers at her back. “ I’ll let you go back home, but only if you tell them about your…condition first. If they still love you and welcomes you, you may stay there – but, if they disown you, and act in the cold way that I expect them to act, you must come back to me and you must help me with whatever I want you to do. Although I must warn you first, you will be magically bound by the decision you make.”

Kaya hesitated for a moment. It was risky, a promise that was magically bound. She didn’t want to help her, but she badly wanted to see her family.

Taking a deep gulping breath, she sighed and nodded, agreeing to her deal.

Ilsa smiled. “ Give me your hand.”

She looked at her, startled.

“I don’t want to hold hands with you! I need to bind us magically to keep you at your word and I at mine.”

Apprehensively, she laid out her hand and let Ilsa take it, turning it over so that her palm faced the ceiling. Suddenly, her other hand came up and swiped at Kaya’s wrist. Pain shot up her arm as she jerked it back, cradling it gently like a wounded child. Warm crimson blood ran down her arm. Ilsa had cut her wrist, quite deeply.

Enraged, she opened her mouth to scream out her anger but Ilsa shook her head calmly and explained. “ This is a blood oath. This is what will bind us to our deal.” Just then, she brought up her own wrist and used the knife to slash across it savagely. A small smile crept onto her face. She looked as though she was almost savouring the pain. A deep breath of contentment flowed from her throat before she reached for Kaya’s hand again and pressed the two wounds together.

“ We’re almost blood sisters now.” She smiled, a trace of amusement crept into her voice. Kaya was looking at their arms, pressed together while the blood slithered across, into her body. She felt tainted; dirty somehow, with another’s blood inside her own. She looked almost fearful, as though waiting for a sudden change inside her body, but nothing happened.

A few minutes later, Ilsa drew her arm back. Relieved, Kaya loosened her arm flexing it gently. The cut still stung, but she swallowed the pain in the anticipation of going home.

“Can I go now?” She whispered, as though afraid of the answer.

“Through the wall.” Ilsa said curtly. “Follow me.”

Without a backwards glance, she walked towards the wall and – through it.

Frowning anxiously, Kaya brushed a tentative hand across the wall, and saw the tips of her fingers disappear within the wall. Mustering up all her courage, she closed her eyes and took a step into the wall. Wind rushed through her, pushing her forward. Her hair flicked around her, whipping at her face. Something pressed through her chest, forcing the air from her lungs. Gasping painfully, she opened her eyes and saw a world of swirling grey. A dark looming shadow sped towards her. Terrified, she opened her mouth to scream but a violent rush of air filled her lungs and the darkness swallowed her whole.

 

~***~

  

“Mother?” Tentatively, Kaya pushed open the bedroom door. “Mother?” She stepped into the room as her eyes instinctively fell on the corner where the coffee table and numerous couches stood, elegant and smooth. It was where her mother often entertained her guests.

The room was, as always, impeccably neat. A large four-poster bed stood against the wall opposite the door. Satin sheets were spread across in a sea of deep maroon. In the far corner, a harsh glint reflected off the mirror resting on the hard surface of the dressing table, glaring at her with critical eyes. She walked towards it, catching her reflection with a look of horror spread across her face. How could she face her mother like this?

Her hair lay flat and heavy, dipped in mud and sprinkled with residues of the tree under which she woke up. Dark shadows encircled her eyes, heavy from tears and fatigue. The stormy grey within it had calmed and dulled with exhaustion. The light in it, blown out and the fire smothered. Her skin was clammy and pale, her lips bruised and sore. The soft velvet of her dress was stiff with mud and blood from her arm. The wound had stopped gushing but now her arm was caked with blood.

Pounding footsteps echoed through the hall. Several pounding footsteps.

Her eyes flickered towards the door. She couldn’t let her mother see her like this, especially when there were guests at the scene. The last time something like that happened she’d…no, she shouldn’t bring that up, not at a time like thing. Not when she was the one seeking, needing forgiveness.

Voices drifted through the bedroom door as the footsteps drew to a halt.

I need to hide somewhere! She panicked, and shut herself in the closet – just as the door opened.

There was a soft rustling of dresses as the ladies sat on the couches, stiff legged and tight faced. Kaya knew without looking, that firm smiles were planted on the somewhat blank faces, almost devoid of any emotion. It was good manners for a lady to show polite interest without unattractive displays of emotions.

“ So, as I was saying…the poor Thomas family just found out that their darling daughter was pregnant while her hand was still bare! But still they want to keep the girl. They say they want to forgive her.” Kaya recognised her mother’s clear, sharp voice, feeling each word burning within her.

“ Honestly!” The low, rich voice of the young widow, Mariah Kent wavered with concealed shock. “ Don’t they know anything about family pride and honour? The girl should be disowned!”

A rumble of agreements greeted her suggestion – among them was her mother herself.

“ Of course! If it were my daughter, I would have sold her to a wealthy family as a slave! At least then, I would get compensation for my daughter’s disobedience as well as teaching her a good hard lesson!”

The world froze around her. A strange buzzing filled her head and Kaya, forgetting where she was, dropped onto the hard wooden floor, unable to believe what she had just heard. For a moment, she felt nothing, heard nothing, and saw nothing. Then, a gush of wind slapped at her face as the door opened and she stared into the cold hard eyes of her mother.

“Kaya – explain.” There was no surprise, no guilt, no concern, just…coldness.

It was then that the pain hit her headlong, ruthlessly seizing her by the heart and plunging her once more into the cold but welcoming darkness.

My own mother….

  

~***~

  

It was one of her mother’s gatherings except this time it was outdoors. John was there with Kate clinging to his arm, the diamond ring glittering smugly on her slim fragile finger. A broad angelic smile lit up her face as the guests applauded their good news. Turning her head, she spotted Kaya standing alone at the top of the hill and replaced her smile with a glaring scowl. It was a fleeting moment and no one noticed - no one but Kaya who stood forlornly on the top of the hill looking down at her family, alone.

Suddenly, Kate swung her head towards her again, her lips trembling, tears rolling down her cheeks and fear in her eyes. Her hands clutched at her ears as she rocked on her heels. She began to moan, soft, deep, agonising moans.

“No! No…no…no please…stop…I didn’t mean to…please…I’m sorry…no….” She was flinging her head from side to side, her eyes blank and staring – staring right at Kaya.

The guests were backing away from her, confused and alarmed by her outburst. Kaya’s own parents were edging away. A subtle sideward glance from Kate told Kaya that she saw this – and that something was being planned against her.

“Witch!” Kate screamed, her eyes bulging and her finger pointing at the startled girl standing alone upon the hill. “Witch!”

People were looking at her now, fingers raised, voices hushed. The expressions on her parents’ faces were both of shock and disgust. They turned to Kate and whispered something in her ear. She muttered something back, shooting fearful glances in Kaya’s direction.

“Guards!” Her father boomed, not taking his glacial eyes off his daughter. Six armed men loomed into sight as her father grunted his order. “To the dungeons!”

“Father! It’s me – Kaya! Your daughter!” She shrieked as frightful fingers gripped her slender arm. “Father! Father please…She’s lying…I’m not a witch! I’m your daughter!”

Flint hard eyes locked into hers.

“I will have no witch as a daughter – neither will I have a whore.”

 

 ~***~

 

 She woke up shivering – and wet. A bashful young servant girl backed into the shadows holding an empty bucket.

“Patricia?” The girl stumbled at her name but did not turn back; instead, she quickened her steps and disappeared into the darkness. Kaya felt betrayed. Patricia had been her friend. There were a number of times when she was the one who helped Patricia out of certain difficulties that would have led her to the dungeons. Now the tables have turned and Patricia had turned her back. Ilsa’s voice echoed somewhere in the back of her head. Even your friends won’t want to associate with someone who’s been tainted….

“Kaya” Her father’s deep commanding voice brought her back to the problem at hand.  She swung her face towards him and felt the chair wobble beneath her. It was then that she realised that they, her own mother and father, had tied her to the chair. Her hands were bound behind her and her ankles tied together.

“Why am I bound Father?” She asked, her voice wavering as an unwelcomed tremor escaped her quivering lips.

“To make things easier dear.” The endearment fell hard on her mother’s lips, cold and clipped. “Why were you hiding in my closet?” Her mother’s eyes burned into hers, bringing forth a fresh wave of tears. She looked away not knowing what to say. She tried to search for a shred of hope that would enable her to tell them the truth. She heard her mother’s words in her head. “If it were my daughter, I would have sold her to a wealthy family as a slave! At least then, I would get compensation….” Her dream flashed before her eyes, and, once again she saw her father’s frosted eyes upon her, heard his steely voice denying her as his blood. “I will have no witch as a daughter – neither will I have a whore.” Even as a dream it hurt, because to her, it hinted reality.

What have I got to lose? She thought bitterly, angry at her life’s turnout. Without a family, without friends…without love – the latter she never had anyway, she knew that now. She was never anything but a burden for her parent. The only thing she had that came close to love was with John and that….

Almost immediately, she threw the thought away, determined to forget. With new resolve, she raised her chin towards them, gritting her teeth and clenched her fingers.

Then she told them the truth.

 ~ ***~

 Ilsa was not a patient woman, and she never had been. In fact, Goddesses never had to deal with patience. She got what she wanted with a single click of a finger, a single command. She was powerful – more than that, she was one of the most powerful – and now, she’d been reduced to this, a young mortal woman with a bag of magical tricks just enough to frighten a little weakling of a girl.

No, not a weakling, not exactly, she corrected herself, thinking back to Kaya’s words. “Didn’t you say that you were a god? What did you do? Huh? You weren’t good enough were you?” “I’d be surprised if you’ve ever even loved anyone or been loved. You’re beautiful, but also cold and lifeless…I don’t see anything in you worth the fear.” She hated to admit it, but she had struck a nerve – a nerve that she had never thought she had. She never had to deal with emotions this much before. When she was a Goddess, emotions weren’t lacking, just…not as often. There were, of course, the stronger ones, Love and Hate but…dealing with guilt, shame, loneliness everyday of their lives? How did they live like this? How could they cope?  But she knew, of course, from those endless days of watching and observing Kaya that it was the intensity of these emotions that made people so much weaker than those who are like her. No – she did it again, speaking as though she wasn’t just another human – people like Dane.

“Dane!” She spat out the name aloud, twisting her face at the vile aftertaste. 

Dane was the one who had caused all this to happen – Dane was the reason she was here in the first place…Dane was the first man she had ever fallen in love with.  

She remembered that day, the day her senses had heightened and in her blood ran the newborn power, electric blue power that streaked through her veins. She had felt her muscles tingling with new strength and excitement, her lips stretching gleefully at her transformation. She had passed the test, withstood the challenges, walked into fire and swam through ice. It was the day she had become a goddess…one of the divine ones.

He walked towards her that day, his eyes the warm blue of the summer sky, his legs striding purposefully, gracefully in her direction. She had stared at him in wonder as her lungs contracted and her throat hurt. She had never thought men could be beautiful, always thinking of them as handsome, sexy or even cute but Dane - he was nothing if not beautiful. Perhaps it was the way he moved, the prowling grace of a mountain cat, or the smooth edges of his face that had always reminded her of ice sculpting. Then there was his hair – the white wisps that fell over his face on either side almost in perfect symmetry, the snowflake softness that made everyone want to reach out, expecting it to disappear at a single touch. It may even have been his smile – that rare treasured gem delivered like a secret message, making everything in the world fall back into place. It was that moment that she had made the biggest mistake of her life, and fell in love with him.

Ilsa shook her head angrily, furious at herself for bringing it all up again. Fuming, she stood up and stalked to the window. The sun was rising, it was another day and yet it still had not happened. Perhaps she still hadn’t gotten up the nerve to tell them?

“Idiot!” She muttered, cursing herself for picking such a weak vessel.

Reaching into her dress pocket, she pulled out the book. So little a thing, and yet of such importance, she mused, so weak a girl and yet needed for such importance. A small smile tugged at her lips. Goddess Ilsa, the second most powerful Goddess, who bended to no one’s will, wanted, no…needed the help of an ignorant, pitiful little girl. If she were in a better mood, she would have better appreciated this bittersweet irony – but her patience was slowly slipping.

When she was just about ready to hurl some satisfyingly breakable objects across the room, a bell-like alarm sounded inside her head. It was, perhaps a little louder than she would have preferred it, but it had sounded and for that alone she was pleased.

She moistened her lips and flexed her fingers in anticipation. A mental picture formed of Kaya’s surroundings and she almost laughed aloud. It was almost too good to be true! With almost girlish delight, she said the words with obvious relish.

“Black Dungeons”

 ~ ***~

 

There was a time when she was much younger, perhaps she had been 6, but she was never sure. Her birthday was never mentioned and so she had never known her age.

She had been about 6 and had just been learning how to cook with their chief scullery maid, Mrs Kemmings. One day, Mrs Kemmings’ daughter Andrea walked into one of the lessons.

“‘Morning mummy!” She chirped, beaming as her ‘mummy’ bent down for a peck on her soft rounded cheek. It was such a simple gesture and yet she felt her young eyes well up.

That night, she made her first dish: chicken soup. Mrs Kemmings served it up, allowing her eyes to twinkle briefly when they met the girl’s from across the table before disappearing through the door.

They said their grace, she, rather impatiently, with eyes darting in anticipation at the three steaming bowls, thirsting for praise. Finally, the bowed heads lifted as though in slow motion and hands rose from their laps. She watched as her mother reach for the spoon and with three perfectly manicured fingers, lifted it to her lips. She waited for a twitch of the nose, a slight frown or a shake of her head, but there was no change in expression. That was all she needed to know.

“ I made that mummy!” She piped up, imitating Andrea’s sweet chirpy voice and looked up beaming at her mother as though expecting the same lowered cheek and rounded back.

Instead, she was met with scalding hot soup.

“What did you say?!” She heard the screech as though far away, feeling as though her head was in flames, burning without actually burning up. She felt hands clawing at her shoulders. She remembered herself thinking then: Don’t touch me mother, you’ll get burned!

She had been taken into the Black Dungeons to spend the night. The next morning, she was taken into her mother’s room.

“Never ever let me see you associating with those of the lower class.” Her mother had her back to her, applying the finishing touches of her makeup. Her voice, as usual was clipped and hard, her eyes, reflected off the mirror, burned into hers. She had learnt years ago not to argue.

“Yes mother” She kept the misery in her voice to a bare minimum. “Can I at least say goodbye?”

“There’s no need for that.” Then, casually, in the tone of someone discussing the weather, she was told the news.

Mother had found out exactly what had been happening for the past few months- the cooking lessons, her friendship with a maid. Then she did what she thought was the right thing.

Mrs Kemmings and her entire family had been taken to the forest the next morning, their bodies buried in the forest floor.

Her whole family had been murdered – all because of her.

She had learnt the price of friendship and the new meaning of loneliness.

 

~ ***~

 

The dungeon air was icy, its every breath stunk of blood, of fear and of death. Ilsa felt the stale air cutting hungrily into her skin and pulled her cloak tighter around her body – her mortal body. She shouldn’t have to feel this. When she had been…powerful, she would have described it as a mere prickle, or a slight tingly feeling that even felt good. Only the most extreme temperature would have affected her then – the ones humans would never be able to stand. Yes…when she was…powerful.

A soft whimper cut through her thoughts and she turned her head towards it. In the corner, huddled together shivering violently was Kaya.

She was a mess.

Her beautiful fiery hair stood on ends, half hanging loosely against her head dripping with mud, half tangled wildly, forming clumps of knotted hair that covered her face. A section of her dress had been ripped off and along the bare leg that showed beneath the torn dress was a large bloodied gash, bleeding profusely.

As Ilsa started towards her, her head snapped up and her eyes widened – fearfully. She gave another whimper, shrinking further into her corner.

“Kaya?” Ilsa asked uncertainly. As much as she hated to admit it, this scene affected her – a lot. First she felt shock, she hadn’t expected the girl’s parents to go this far. She hadn’t even expected dungeon treatment. She just thought that this way, Kaya might come to her willingly, and her business would be done much more quickly. But now, she felt something that she had never felt before. It travelled through her, leaving her with a sick feeling in her stomach that then lodged itself in her throat. What was it? She couldn’t quite put her finger on this feeling.

“Don’t come near me!” Kaya’s hands were groping madly behind her, as though if she did it long enough, hard enough, she might be able to sink into the walls. She was standing up now, her back right against the wall, her eyes bloodshot. “Go away! Haven’t you done enough? Go away!”

“Look, Kaya, I….” Ilsa searched herself for something to say. What was wrong with her? The thing that was in her stomach and in her throat – it was draining her of all her strength. “I’m sor….” She cut herself off abruptly, horrified. Had she…had she just almost apologised? And meant it?  No…she…what was happening to her?

“ I’m sorry you had to go through all that,” she amended, trying again calmly “, but, let me remind you, that you, my dear, were the one who insisted on returning.”

No answer.

“Perhaps I should remind you again of our deal? Your parents rejected you, and now you’re mine. You have to do what I want.”

No answer.

“ Look,” she tried again, “I understand….”

“No! You don’t understand. You’ll never understand! You’re a goddess! You don’t feel things – how can you…understand? How can you possibly understand any of this when even I don’t? Let me spell it out for you…feelings- you- none!”

Ilsa stared at the girl, unaware of everything but the surges of anger that rolled through her body. Gone was the stomach and throat feeling, gone was the cold. She has no idea….

“ I have no feelings?” she whispered, her voice deadly quiet. “I have no feelings? I am a goddess…a goddess trapped in a human body. Do you have any idea what that feels like? Once having tasted something beautiful, then ending up losing it all, whilst remembering what you once had. Yes….” She let out a quiet laugh…a cruel laugh, sharpening her claws to strike out blindly.  “Yes…I forgot…John. So you do know what it feels like…Let’s try another one…do you know what it feels like to be in hell? To be trapped in your deepest darkest thoughts. To have no form, no shape; to be imprisoned in your most horrible memory, and to see it over and over as though watching a movie. Watching a horrible movie in a place where crying was not permitted, or rather, not possible. Have you ever felt something as powerful as that? It may be true…I’ve never felt emotion as often, never felt it like I do now, every minute, every second…but the emotions I have felt…they’re like ones you’ve never felt before.” Ilsa had been staring at the opposite wall, and when she blinked, she felt wetness creep around her eyes. Pretending to have dust in her eyes, she brushed it away irritably and looked at Kaya, who is back to sitting on the floor, huddled together in a tight bundle.

For a moment, they were silent. Each contemplating their own lives, recollecting their own thoughts and listening to the rats scratching against the walls and nibbling at their feet. A while later, Kaya lifted her head and spoke quietly.

“They want my baby…they want to kill my baby.”

 

~***~

 

CHAPTER 1

 

It was all wrong.

The girl, only 21 hours into adulthood cast her eyes upon the blistering grey above and felt the patience slip away, smothered beneath the screams, the ever constant mingle of drumbeats and rhythmic hysteria. The gathering storm mirrored her despair. Silent flashes streaked across the angry swirl of thickening clouds drooping heavily over their heads.

It was all going wrong.

“Evelyn.” Reluctantly, she turned, slowly and painfully, dreading the moment of once again facing the horrific failure of the night. It must be Stephen asking for more beer bottles to smash or Bettina and Jake coming to tell her the Jacuzzi had just flooded. This is all Josh’s fault! She thought angrily, these are all his friends prancing around and ruining everything!

“Evelyn….” It wasn’t Stephen, Bettina or Jake. It wasn’t one of Josh’s alcoholic mates or even his bikini clad bimbos. Of course it wasn’t. Evelyn blinked and tried, unsuccessfully, to tug her lips into a recognisable smile.

All she could manage was an odd sort of grimace.

“Alex! Hi!” She cringed inwardly at the chirpiness of her voice. Not cool! She tried again. “Enjoying the party?”

“Yeah,” he reached behind her for a drink. Without thinking, she glanced at the bottle in his hand. Soda. He seemed to notice the look on her face and smiled knowingly. “I’m driving.” He explained, and offered her a cup before taking a seat beside her.

He didn’t speak for a while and Evelyn was almost relieved, though she wondered why he was here. Her bare arms tingled at his close proximity. Her heart was thumping so loudly she was sure that he could hear every beat and feel the heat radiating from her flaming cheeks.

Ten years she had known him. This was the first time she had ever sat beside him. The first time she had even spoken a word to him.

The first time she was this close to him.

Alex Baldwin. The very first day she saw him, she was eight years old. He was a tall boy, tall for his age and quiet too. The first day he walked into her class, she almost gasped aloud. Something about him was intoxicating. It may have been the way he held himself, with the grace and confidence that came with years. Perhaps it was the way he walked through the door and swept his gaze across the room…and then suddenly smiled. It was a smile so achingly innocent and yet filled with dark shadows of loss and pain. It was the smile that captured the hearts of both students and teachers. It was the smile of an angel – If angels passed through hell.

And she had grown up watching him from a distance, longing for his eyes to lock into hers and smile the way he had that very first day she saw him. But he never smiled like that again. Not to her – not to anyone.

He was a silent boy and grew up with a frosty coldness about him. He was never rude, nor did he ever go out of his way to be polite. None-the-less he had many friends, but she hardly ever heard him speak to them. The girls loved him for it; the mystery, the excitement. He was neither glad for their attention nor rejected it. He kept to himself and it was this distance among other things that drew Evelyn to him.

Now, though, as she relaxed into the silence, she suddenly wished that he would say something, anything.

“I wanted to wish you a happy birthday.” He spoke so suddenly that she jumped slightly and wondered uneasily if he knew what she was thinking.

“Thankyou”. She smiled at him, blushing hotly. Suddenly she felt bold and opened her mouth to ask him something that had been bothering her for months. Before she could utter a word, a crack of thunder split open the sky and rain came pouring from all directions. Lightning flashed red as the sky took on a shade of burgundy and brown. For a moment, the house was one deafening scream as the few that had remained sober mistook the rain as a bloodbath.

Another resounding crack tore through the street. Evelyn Hamilton felt the ground slip beneath her as she gasped for breath and swallowed instead the perpetual darkness.

~***~

She walked. She walked through the darkness, her hands spread before her like a blind woman feeling her way through the fog. Like everything else, the fog blended into the black surroundings, but she felt the thickness in the air, the sudden drop in temperature and the whirlpool swirl of power. Something was changing. She walked as she never could before and ventured into the fragments of her mind.

The air cleared and her heart began to race. Excitement threatened to burst inside her. Something was changing. She walked…faster against the currents of anticipation that threatened to overwhelm her. And then she ran.

She has awoken.

The last game is set for play.

She pressed her hands to her ears, curled her body into a tight ball inside the abyss. Somewhere in the darkness, the laughter would not stop ringing.

 ~***~

 “What happened?” Joshua Hamilton glanced at his sister’s motionless body and swallowed hard. He raised his head and looked over at the person who had once been his closest friend. Once upon a time he would have trusted Lee Chen with his life, and the trust would have been mutual. Josh’s feelings had not changed, but he had done something unforgivable and the friendship had been torn apart. Now, as Josh looked at him with eyes glazed with exhaustion and worry, the two eyes that gazed back at him were flat and expressionless, and it hurt.

It was Josh who turned away first, unable to face what he had lost. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Lee turn his head and shrug.

“Alex Baldwin carried her body into the room and into my arms. He didn’t say what happened, just left.” The same image had been replayed over and over through Lee’s head since that night. In his mind’s eye, he saw Alex standing by the door, drenched with rain, a body draped over his arms like a rag doll. A streak of lightning had flashed across the blood red sky, lighting up his darkened profile and made the rain look like dirty blood washed over them. It had taken a moment for Lee to realise that the girl in his arms was Eve and another to pull himself out of the shock long enough to react when Alex placed her in his arms. Though Alex hadn’t mentioned what had happened to Eve, he did say something. Alex had looked at him, his face half hidden in the shadows like a long lost warrior.

“She’s all yours,” he had said, and Lee detected a trace of bitterness beneath the layers of detached coldness. “So take care of her.”

“Why me?” Lee had managed to croak and, upon realising how whiny and unwilling it must have sounded, stumbled to clarify his meaning. “Why not you?”

“Because you can.”

The response was simple, yet tangled with so many webs of complexities that Lee found himself bleeding through the ears trying again and again to figure out what he had meant. It was, perhaps, the flicker of regret and the ghost of tenderness he had seen on Alex’s face that added to the mystery and prevented Lee from brushing the comment aside as melodramatic or even self-pitying.

Now, as Lee shook himself out of his reverie, he found himself staring at a look of utmost fury and disgust on Josh’s face, and realised how his words must have sounded.

“He didn’t rape her or anything if that’s what you’re thinking.” Lee could not keep the bitterness, the accusations from seeping through his voice. Josh looked away quickly. The accusation cut deeper than the words and sliced cleanly through the bonds of trust and betrayal of past friendships.

“I wish I had been there last night.” Josh said wearily, sinking heavily into a nearby armchair and cradled his head in his arms.

“Josh….” Lee trailed off. He wanted to scream at him and tell him what he had wanted to say for months, years even. What do you expect? He wanted to say: All this time you had never really known her. All this time you could have spent with her you’ve spent fooling around with Erica, Jane and every other girl in the school. You’ve never even realised or considered how much of your fooling around affected her own life; never saw the hurt in her eyes when yet another friendship was ruined after a friend’s fling and break-up with you. You have been ruining her life for years and now you say you wished you’d been there? He wanted to say all that and more, but another part of him crumbled. The hopeless and desolate tone in Josh’s voice made him yearn for the old friendship; yearn for his right to shoulder his friend’s pain as his own, share the guilt and tell him that everything would be alright.

But he didn’t say any of that. Josh’s distraught yet hopeful eyes stared back at him and he looked away.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said instead and walked out the room without a second glance at Josh’s face.

He was afraid of what he might have seen, or rather, what he might not see.

 

~***~

 

Josh Hamilton sat sprawled on an armchair by his sister’s hospital bed. He was half delirious with the mental effort to stay awake despite the constant gnawing of exhaustion. The result of this was evident when Tania Sutherland walked into the room and was immediately greeted with a mouthful of feather.

“Pillow fight?” She inquired coolly after the last feather fell from her mouth.

Josh stared at the empty sack held in his hand, then at the pile of feathers at his feet, and frowned in confusion.

“I thought you were a someone sneaking in.” He said, glaring at her looking thoroughly annoyed; like a child denied a treat.

She raised one perfectly shaped eyebrow and stared pointedly at the limp sack still clutched in his hand.

“I thought it was a baseball bat!” He said defensively and, unable to stop himself, yawned widely. Her eyebrows rose even higher. She took in his rumpled clothes and unshaven face. She stepped neatly over the pile of feathers, took one look at his unfocussed eyes and pushed him out the door.

“What do you think you’re doing?” His words were slurred from continuously yawning and his eyes were quivering with the effort to stay open.

“Its my turn. I don’t care what you do now but I advice you to take this time catch up on your beauty sleep. You’re not much to good to her like this.”

Once out the door, she smiled broadly at his confusion and closed the door in his face.

“Good night!”

 

~***~

 

She jumped when she felt the hand on her shoulder.

“Lee.” She smiled and gave him a playful poke in the stomach. “You scared me.”

He tried to smile but failed miserably.

“Tania how is she?”

Her answer was written all over he face when she turned to look at him.

“It’s been two week, Lee, why won’t she wake?”

She needn’t have asked. His distress and helplessness reflected in his eyes was all she needed to know. Silently, he bent towards the motionless girl on the bed and very lightly, caressed her cheek.

“She’ll wake Lee. She’ll wake and then you can tell her.”

The boy didn’t respond.

 

~***~

 

By the time Josh woke and walked back into the room, Lee had already left. Tania sat with her back to him and did not look up. She held Eve’s hand inside her own and was wiping her brow with a wet towel. He stood at the door for a moment, mesmerised by the rhythmic stroke of her hand as she wiped Eve’s face, so gentle and motherly.

He had to admit; the girl had looks, elegance and style. With her creamy coffee skin, dark long lashes and oval face enveloped in black shimmery hair the colour of a black starry night, she looked like a cross between a Greek goddess and Egyptian princess. Her long slender legs, lean body and regal set of shoulders made her look royal and elegant. Her attitude and personality matched her model looks. No one messed with Tania. She was the queen of her own life and she was true to her self. The guys respected her and the girls steered clear of her. She was one girl Josh couldn’t have had even if he wanted her. Not that he did of course. Despite her being Eve’s best friend, she and Josh never got along.

Now though, Josh admired the clean sculpting of her nose and chin as he admired a piece of artwork. It was an appreciation of human beauty. Beside her, Eve looked like a tiny little elf with tiny blond curls with fairness to contrast her darkness.

“How long are you going to be standing there? I need you to rinse this towel for me.” A queen indeed, Josh thought dryly as he obediently followed the order and took the towel to the sink.

“How long have I been asleep?” He asked her as he held out the damp towel.

“Fifteen hours.” She placed the towel on Eve’s forehead. “I almost forgot, your girlfriend Erica came over. She came to see you.” She added in disgust. He wasn’t sure whether the contempt in her voice had been aimed at Erica for being so selfish and inconsiderate, or at him for having such a girlfriend. Then he wondered why he cared what she thought.

He walked over to his sister as though unconcerned by the tone of Tania’s voice and drew the covers to her chin.

“Still nothing?” For the first time that day, he saw the same kind of helplessness he felt inside himself, the same frustration in her eyes and the creases of her face. She looks better that way, he thought, frowning instead of the usual smooth panes of coldness on her face.

He moved to sit down beside her and for the first time in their lives, they took mutual comfort in each other’s silence.

 

~***~

 

“Eighteen circles round the fire

To bloom into shadow of vines

Eighteen times the sun shall rise

To forge the key through darkened times”

 

A woman clothed in the dark blood of her cascading hair rose from the floor and closed the book she held in her hand with a resounding snap. Her eyes glittered and a small smile tugged at her lips.

“She has awakened.”

Suddenly, without warning, she threw back her head and let out a deep, wild, hysterical laugh.